Husbands ARE to be the HEAD of the Family
Eph 5:22-26
1998- Memphis, TN- The Annual Southern Baptist Convention created a storm of controversy when it made a proclamation about the family that said in part that “a wife should submit graciously to the servant leadership of her husband.”. This set off a chain of media events and problems that no one would ever have seen coming!
But it is still true today, that many, even Christians have trouble agreeing with this idea. WHY IS THIS??? WHY DO SO MANY PEOPLE REACT NEGATIVELY TO THE CONCEPT THAT A WOMAN SHOULD SUBMIT TO HER HUSBAND?
DOESN’T THE VERSE WE JUST READ ESTABLISH THIS? DOES IT MEAN A HUSBAND HAS ULTIMATE RESPONSIBILITY FOR MAJOR DECISION MAKING IN THE FAMILY?
What did Paul mean? What does the Bible really teach us about marital roles? What is a wife’s responsibility to her husband? What is a husband’s responsibility to his wife?
I think that Paul was simply explaining how our relationship to Christ should impact our family life.
I think there are 6 PRINCIPLES we can learn from this mistakenly “controversial” passage:
1- Submission is MUTUAL- Many think this verse says that once married, ONLY the woman must submit over and over again. But I do not think this is true. Back up one verse and read verse 21. God instructs us ALL to “submit to one another”. The original Greek translated word for “submit” was a military word that translated “be subject to, arrange or rank under”. So as Christians, God says we are to “place ourselves under one another"….basically "Put other’s interests before yours!!"
Jesus was the best example of this! So Paul IS saying “WIVES, PUT YOUR HUSBANDS NEEDS ABOVE YOUR OWN, …….BUT MEN, YOU MUST ALSO PLACE YOUR WIVES NEEDS ABOVE YOUR OWN DESIRES!
*****BUT this idea of mutual submission DOES NOT strip a husband of his responsibility and authority to lead his family! *****The husband can surrender some rights, BUT NEVER his responsibility to lead”.
2- Submission is based solely on assigned roles, NOT on inherent worth!- Think of a Police Officer….What motivates people to pull over when he flags them? In many cases, the “victims” are probably smarter, wealthier, even more spiritual….BUT he has been given an assigned role, and people know they must submit to it, regardless of who they are.
VERY SIMILARLY, the reasons wives are commanded to submit to their husband has nothing to do with their inherent worth…but rather an assigned responsibility! **NOWHERE DOES THE BIBLE SAY THAT WOMEN ARE INFERIOR TO MEN, it simply has roles for us to carry out. (in fact the Bible elevates the status of women in my opinion)
God created us differently, each of us equipped to fulfill unique purposes!
3- Submission is part of God’s created order- In other words, EVERYTHING in God’s grand plan has order and everyone submits in different ways. According to Paul, God has an organizational chart where the “husband is head of the wife, as Christ is head of the church”. He does not qualify the statement by saying; “Some husbands are the heads of some wives” or “if the Husband is spiritually and intellectually qualified he is the head”. No, God has an order that simply desires EVERY husband serve as the head of every marriage relationship! In EVERYTHING God created, there is a hierarchy of order. This DOESN’T mean a husband should act always without seeking counsel! In fact, a wise husband will listen to his wife and seek her thoughts. NEVERTHELESS, someone has to have the final decision making power, and according to God’s plan, that rests with the husband.
4- Submission IS limited- One of the biggest objections against this idea is that it gives husbands’ “license to abuse their wives”. I do not believe this to be true in anyway. God places boundaries in everything. God never intended every woman in the world to submit to every man (except in the sense all Christians are to submit to one another). Sorry fellas, it aint that way!! J Have trouble with a woman leading a corporation, a battalion or even the United States?????? Well too bad J, because the Bible does not! The only 2 areas where it says the woman IS to submit are in the home and church!
It is also limited in its’ scope. What if a husband uses his authority to make a wife sin? What if he forbids her to attend church? What should she do then? Should she disobey God’s commands over her husbands??? That’s a tough one! I do know Paul says a wife must submit in “everything”, but that must be balanced too with Acts 5:29 “”we must obey God rather than men”. Is a wife obligated to do such things that violate the clear teaching of God’s word!! A wife can submit right up to that point where obedience to human authority would involve disobedience to God, and then I believe there are boundaries.
5- Submission is encouraged by example and not coercion- Who would you rather follow Gandhi or Hitler???? It is simple. Guys- you will NEVER effectively force your wives to obey you. They may comply with a request, but it will not be true submission!
The principle of “submission” does not give a man a right to treat marriage like a dictatorship! Instead we should encourage submission by our own example and sacrifice! How can you expect a wife to place herself under your authority when she can clearly see you are not willing to place yourself under the Lord’s????
According to Paul, submission begins with the husband!!!!! Then it works it’s way down.
Being a husband is a responsibility. You place the welfare of your wife above your own. (Eph 5:25)
That being said, a Godly woman STILL submits to her husband. God asked you to. A good Godly husband should make this a privilege rather than a burden! So regardless of what the world, political activists and lobbyists, and radical feminists say, the fact is this: YES A HUSBAND IS THE HEAD OF A FAMILY!